Mandatory Reporting and harm

I met with the treatment coordinator for Alex today.  He was unaware that Alex had been subjected sexually inappropriate behavior either Tuesday and/or Wednesday and that I had made sure to report it to the facility.  Instead he told me there had been some kind of play that had gotten out of hand yesterday and escalated to a point where they reported Alex to the state hotline for inappropriate behavior.  This guy was pretty okay with sexual harm happening to my child.  He said that was the risk of treatment (that I had objected to!).  He said they would do what they could but there were no promises that Alex would be safe.  He said the team would talk about it on Monday. 

If sexualized behavior was in Alex's grab bag of issues, I would be up front about it and tell.  Alex is the kind of kid that is very careful with his personal space and that of others.  I had been able to give him back that sense of innocence.

So, after a long meeting with this gentleman, I asked to see my kid.  They cleared the unit and let me visit him for awhile.   He smelled funny.  He was eating some super sweet candy.  He was on serious high alert.  He had been punched in eye so hard his cheekbone was bruised and cut.  I asked him what happened and he said he had fallen.

I remember seeing that kind of abrasion on the face of a kid - it was in the orphanage.  It was on the face of an unknown kid that pleaded with me to take him away from that place too.  I saw that same cut on Alex's face today. 

I read him a story from a cat book I brought.  He laughed manically and his eyes were unfocused.  He had piled all his clothing in a corner and was hiding things under them.  He had things hidden on his bed.  At some point he made me sit on his bed and he covered me up and then pretended I was his bed.  He told me I could not leave.  He laid on me and called me his lumpy pillow.  It seemed so odd.  This is not my son.  He is also so hoarse I am sure he has done further significant damage to his vocal cords from screaming.  Alex screamed a lot his first year home and I have never heard him this hoarse, almost unable to talk. 

A nurse came in to give him his meds twenty minutes late.  I asked Alex if he wanted to come home.  He said no.  He was so agitated and started jumping about.  He took a round thing and gyrated against it.  I said to stop, that is something we do not do.  Alex said okay and took my hand to lead me out of the unit.

I found a staff member to make sure Alex was safe.  I think he is not.  I have called the unit several times and all I get is voice mails.

I was once a foster mom and I am a mandatory reporter concerning the abuse of children.  I got home and pulled out some training materials about what sexual molestation looks like in a child.  I then called the hotline and made a report.  This is a state furlough day due to lack of state funds so it is more than likely nothing will be done until Monday even though I spoke with a real person.

When I was a foster mom I remember so many times answering my phone late on a Friday with case workers desperate to find a safe place for a child that night.  That hotline is often the first step in getting kids safe. It is basically unmanned tonight with record hot temperatures on a Friday night.  I worry for the kids.

And I still cannot get anyone on the line at the in treatment center. 

I think I remain inconsolable.  Harm is happening to my son and I can do nothing about it.  He should so not be there.