Co-Sleeping and - oh my my son is a packrat!

The boy wonder has finally acknowledged that he feels that monsters may come into his room while he is sleeping.  That is a common fear for even American kids raised here in non-trauma situations.  Most kids may get over it.  Alex actually has met monsters. He is justified in fearing their existence in his room.  In a prior life the monsters awakened him while he slept. 

So, co-sleeping is where we are currently.   There are kid beds in my room but the chickadees actually prefer my bed.  Where they can touch me and be safe.  It kind of feels smothering to me but I get it.  When I had Dalmatians dogs, they were the same way.  Those dogs seemed to have velcro and would attach to me while I slept.

My kids are making up for a lifetime of missed contact with a mother that will keep them safe.  Even my most abused foster children (when I was a foster Mom) had contact with a mom.  Even those kids pleaded for closer contact which I refused.  I remember it taking hours for foster toddlers to drop off even though they had the room right next door.    

That being said, the general family plan is to empty Alex's room until he no longer feels the monsters may come into it.  That may be permanently so we are going through all his stuff and getting rid of every piece of paper he has kept since he came home.  Alex was so deprived that he just wants stuff, even if he doesn't really want it anymore.  It has been a good bonding time between us while I am there supporting Alex sorting through the pieces of his life since he has been home.    I think we need several dumpsters to cart this all off.  Yikes!

Normal life, normal life.  Always normal life.  I cannot erase the past but I can give the gift of the future - to my kids. 

So co-sleeping, such a neo-hippie (and maybe not) idea is what adoptive kids need.  I privately and personally hate it but my kids love it.  While I mourn the loss of my favorite sleep position on what was previously my personal mattress, my kids sleep through the night once on it.  Worse yet, they turn toward me and cuddle close.  Alex was used to sleeping with his arms intertwined with another child, something a trauma therapist told me is common so when he reaches out in his sleep and hits me, it is reassuring to him. 

I still do not like it.  I miss my solitude.  But I adore my kids.  They are my heros.  So co-sleeping it is - for now.  Thank god my current dogs are "sleep somewhere else" kind of guys.  :)