Everything That is Given Is Not What I Planned

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

How we protect kids who have been harmed - TB exposure - Sexual predators allowed and given free access to traumatized kids

I am just so sad. I cannot stop crying.

Late yesterday, Alex's pediatrician's office was contacted about the TB issue I discussed at length during admittance. The pediatrician's office relayed the same information I did at intake and then gave conditions and other options to the treatment center. Their nurses' office called me and talked about it all but they still seemed lost. At least they agreed that the pediatrician can administer the blood draw option if necessary and it will not happen until I am there. They have also sent this apparently difficult question to their medical director.

Idiots. Alex would not have been granted citizenship if we hadn't done the TB piece exactly correct according to international law. Years ago!!! The then treating private physicians punted the issue originally to a governmental entity so as to make sure everything was done exactly correct.

90% of children in orphanages have been exposed to TB and test positive. If the test is disclosed during the adoption, a child is subject to medical intervention. It is kind of a standard issue for an international adoption.

The sacrifices a grieving parent must make.

Then there was first a call from Alex tonight. He was playful, dithered a bit and then he told me another kid had exposed himself to Alex. Alex is scared. He will not sleep. He has found hell again. He cannot even ask me to come and save him again. Personally I am brought back to that which I saw and heard in the first visit to hell. May God protect my son. He is telling me and I am telling the people there who currently attempt to keep him safe. I am now having the waking nightmares that he has. May God help us.

Then there was another call from the unit. I told them about some of the night issues - enough to get Alex through the night. In about three sentences. I gave them the roadmap to try and keep my son safe tonight. It is a hard thing to not be able just go and make sure he is safe. A sexual predator has already targeted my son and I cannot stop it. I must rely upon others. Alex already knows the people there cannot keep him safe. They did not even know the sexual predator had already started his game towards Alex.

Then they told me he did not sleep until almost 4 am this morning and was in restraint holds several times during the night. I told them to get ready for another night of that. I also told them their site psychiatrist had refused to listen to us (in the collective - including many doctors) and did not know this would happen. It is happening. I suspect that the people at Trillium will not do any better than the people at the orphanage I found him.

It is not a Russian problem. It is not an American problem. It is a problem about who will actually make sure to protect the kids. It is a problem about how we care for kids after they have been harmed. I have said time and time again, Alex got the best treatment possible given the orphanage circumstances. The Americans are now not listening and allowing further harm to happen.

Alex is a survivor. He knows to tell. He tells me about it all, hoping. I hope too.

I also got an email from the school system today. Apparently legal counsel for the special ed department did not realize I had reported, and documented, the bullying, taunting, and physical assaults that lead to Alex breaking last May.

I remain inconsolable. Alex is already experiencing harm and I cannot go and keep him safe. I have spent years telling him it wouldn't happen again but it is. I was wrong. No wonder I keep crying.

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