And then we just argued about ice cream

Such a day.  It started out so okay.  Alex didn't have nightmares last night and we made our early morning appointment with time to spare.  That private doc is actually the one who originally helped Alex stabilize and this morning was another wonderful result.  That man is magic with helping kids heal.

Then the trek on to the day treatment program.  There the on site psych doc is pushing the intreatment option hard.  She may have made a better case if she had her dates, facts or issues straight or the meds correct.  She then tried scare tactics.  Wrong choice for sure.  

I do not scare.  I also do not tip my hand too much.  Alex has an entire team several specialists deep that is entirely outside the day treatment - intreatement system.  Better yet, they have known him for years.  So, I do not scare easy and I have back-up reality checks.  And then I check with Alex's peeps. 

What this doc did was she make me mad.  She hasn't even bothered to learn any significant facts about Alex, his issues or who his monsters are.  She didn't know correct dates or recent trigger events.  I am concerned.  She doesn't even ever remember the most important fact, Alex was bullied and hit in face daily until he started having flashbacks.  She has done nothing for Alex, except decide he needs to be separated from everything that he knows as his.  His family, his home, his dog, his outside specialists, his park, his lessons, his life.  She would have me remove his ability to choose his daily life.

That being said, I said I would think about it all.  I know it sounds a bit odd that I am concerned about his ability to choose but Alex has already had a lifetime of institutionalization and I am reluctant to send him back to it. 

When I went to pick him up his day at the facility had been difficult. So I took him shopping.  Sounds silly but it worked.  :)  So our day ended as it began - normal.

Alex played with his sister and regaled his grandmother with funny stories.  After pizza for dinner Alex was brilliant at getting me to agree to ice cream for dessert.  He is wonderful at making a point when arguing.  Thank goodness he doesn't yet realize I kind of look forward to giving them ice cream. 

Tomorrow we see yet another private doc that has known my son since he first came home.  I think he too will be less than pleased with all of it.  Alex just needs time.

He is about to remember what he knew before.  This evening we were walking and he kept telling the Russian words for what we were seeing.  I still speak Russian so I know he is not making it up.  He has not been able to do that for three years.  His ability to speak his native language is tied to his memories.  He is about to realize the monsters are his memories about reality.  I look around at the support system in place and I want to tell the newbies to buckle up - we are about to hit warp speed on a private path into hell about a former reality. 

I will tell you this, other single adoptive moms who have have taken other paths to adoption are still lining up to help me out.  They don't ask things, they don't offer unsolicited opinions.  They just show and help.  They leave work, loan cars and or friends and family to help cover stuff while Alex is just being so Alex.  And they do not even ask for anything.  They are so amazingly normal about it all.  And they keep showing up and sending things.  I am kind of awe-struck by their amazing kindness.

It is just done so that we can be normal and go home and just argue about ice cream for dessert.  And so we do.