The miracle I found in Russia has left the house. It is like that time we took him back to the orphanage, he ran away skipping as he went. No backward glances. No tearful good-byes.
Alex likes this option. I just cannot seem to stop crying. This is the hardest part about being a mom - the letting go. I hope Alex finds his way back to me but I will abide by his decision.
Alex is the product of such a brutal world. He has been so stubborn which ensured his survival.
He was the miracle that I found in Russia. He survived. I am that which he feels he does not deserve. He is like that animal in a trap - he will chew off a limb to escape. I would spare him that.
So I open my hands and let the butterfly go free. I hope I didn't hurt its wings. I love him so.
May God grant me peace and the ability to accept.
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