How to be a Mom

It is a job I have been preparing for all my life.  I was also lucky and had amazing parents.  It is still a tricky job - sort of like balancing on a high beam several stories high, holding onto that silly balance pole and the beam is smothered in melting butter.  And you are juggling not just your life the the lives of everyone in the family.

No doubt, Moms have it tough. 

I physcially went into my office today and talked to my boss about a potential long term vacation from work.  We also talked about how I am personally moving toward a management position standing.  Lots of things were left up in the air.

After awhile I went to meet with the school district folks with Alex in tow.  I have to say, they brought their A-team.  It was a room filled with lots of education, knowledge and years of practical experience.  They were professional, knowledgeable and caring. 

I heard how the bullying complaint was inadvertantly left unresolved.  I heard how a teacher's aide throwing Alex to the ground during schools hours, before my eyes was dealt with, in only a general sense but it was within Union rules and something happened.

No doubt the room was stacked.  Legal counsel was there and I must say she is what a I would call a legal battle axe.  If possible, I would love to litigate, on the same side, with that woman.  She takes takes no prisioners which is kind of my professional approach too.  I liked her immediately.  I also understood she was on the other side today - maybe.

Then there was the head district special ed person as well as the elementary school principal, special ed teacher and speech therapist.  There was one other mucky-muck but I am not sure what she did.    

We talked about things.  Not the disaster this summer has been or the Salt Lake option but the "what if" option of Alex going back to school next week.  Here, at home.

There were lots of good things talked about.  They gave up Alex getting additional ESL since he basically hasn't got it for years.  We talked about keeping him safe and giving him academics.

Music to a Mother's ears.  They asked me what I needed when they placed him.  His teacher from last year was so helpful.  It is like what my mama's heart feels may be true.  It is just an emotional corner we need to turn with Alex, and then everything will be okay.  He will begin to cope again. 

I do not know.  So I keep moving the Salt Lake option forward.  I also work on getting the kids back to school next week and making our lives "normal." 

That a-team of school professionals were moms today.  I went home and talked lots with my own mom.  I will now spend the rest of the week taking Alex to his outside peeps and talk with them too.

Maybe we just put him in school next week and see how it goes.  The director of special ed asked me today if there was a pattern to the emergency room visits.  I noted we always have a Sunday blowout and often a Friday one after he comes home.

And maybe Alex just is coping with a lot of daily life.  We all think is it easy.  It is not.  With the bullying, Alex's ability to cope may have just gone seriously awry.

So it is tough being a Mom.  Lots to sort out.  There is so much to consider as I weigh the options.  I am lucky I have lots of people to look to for help.  I am also super duper lucky because I have options to actually weigh - that is not always the case for many situations.

I think all of us were on the same page today - to the extent possible.  Alex needs to remain in normal mainstream life.  We are going to put supports in place so he can learn to do things like ride the school bus.  Isolating him either at home or in a treatment setting will simply delay his entry into the rest of his life.     

Today was a good exercise in how to be a Mom.