There was light in our world today

First: for the lady who asked, my adoption agency was Children's Hope International.

Sasha woke up in his normal happy way - and stayed that way. We did nothing different. It was just a better day for him. I thank God for that. And I thank everyone for your prayers.

And so it went. Last night, when he was eating his cookie, he suddenly hopped up from the table, came into the kitchen were I was cooking and he told me "I'm safe." Nothing more. Then he ran back into the dining room and finished his cookie.

Maybe that had something to do with it. Also, my Mom went by the cable company to get a converter box for the television upstairs. Sasha was over the moon about that. Most cable channels come across that tv but not Nic or Disney. Over the weekend I had fixed his "broken" tv and dvd player but hadn't told him yet it was working again. My kid, the genius, is always taking things apart or "rearranging" them. A couple of weeks ago, he was in the tv/playroom and suddenly a very load zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzap was heard throughout the house. Sasha had done something to make all the machines go dark. For him that was a tragedy because at first I couldn't figure out what he had done and I was clear I was not going to buy him a new system. So he was devastated.

This is the kid that somehow shorted out a light socket and everything on that wall of the house the first week home from Russia. I have no idea what he did. And it took an electrician to fix it. When I first called the electrician and explained the problem he asked if the kid was still alive. They had to replace all sockets on that circuit breaker. So when I heard the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzap upstairs I knew something serious had happened.

Finally I did figure out how to fix the problem. But as attached as Sasha is to SpongeBob I do not think that is why he had such a great day. I just think that the monsters did not dog his steps today. When I went upstairs tonight to get him for bed the entire second floor was not ablaze in light. Sasha had only turned on lights in the hallway and in the tv/playroom. The rest of the rooms were dark. I think that must be some kind of important milestone.

And so it goes. For those who posted regarding yesterday's entry, thank you. There are three reasons I still post comments on this blog. First, is for Sasha. I feel that if I do not speak for him then how will anyone know what he is going through. Second, I do it for all the other parents out there. When I called St. Louis (the home office for the adoption agency) in an absolute panic about the crazy kid in my hotel room in Vladivostok, they told me I was providing "inconsistent parenting" to him. He had only been with me a day and a half. And that is what their message to me remained to be. Since Sasha is on the outer limits of being damaged, if I let others know what is looks like here, then maybe it is easier for others to see some behaviors are not so bad. Just give it some time. And maybe lots of therapy.

Finally, I still post on this blog for myself. So many times I have almost shutdown this posting site because some of my deepest hurt is expressed here. And yet, I know that I need others to know. I also treasure the kind words and thoughts. And I continue to hope that the postings here will turn from the dismal to the joyful. Because I still see Sasha as my miracle in Russia.