The day went pretty much as expected

And maybe it was better in some ways. Sasha is getting comfortable with the waiting area of the children's hospital (we go there a lot) and he commandeered the tv with Sponge Bob on it. When we went to his first visit, because we had done audio testing before, it went well. He remembered the lady, her toys and how the testing game went. Just in case you are wondering, Sasha can hear fine. Even the slight decrease in one ear is still within normal range.

Then we went to the second visit with the orthodontic doctor and all craziness broke out. Running, screaming and kicking - and that was before the doctor came in. When Sasha started swearing at me in Russian his interpreter was shocked, truly shocked. I told her that was nothing, he says a lot more most of the time. As Alex at work warned me before I went over the second time to Russia, orphanage kids begin swearing at a really young age, so do not be shocked if he swears. Sure enough, even though I refuse to ask any Russian what he says or look it up in a slang dictionary, the words he uses are pretty bad.

Back to the visit. Even though the doctor was up front with Sasha, the little bugger still escalated his behavior. Finally, the doctor was able to count Sasha's teeth but x-rays were not possible. The doctor noted, as does everyone else, it is the behavior issues that really need to be addressed first. No kidding.

So we left that appointment early, with Sasha screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling he would not go home with me but with his interpreter. Veronica, being the sweetie that she is quickly disappeared while I went the other way.

Sasha continued to yell and scream for no apparent reason. On the elevator and off. People just looked at me. There were moments in the lobby where I distracted him and got him to calm but it was like he remembered the agenda and started the screaming again. In the turnaround where Mom picked us up he escalated to wriggling so as to run away and trying to bang at things and all that screaming was echoing off the buildings given it is a close area. And it was really high decibel screaming. I was never so glad that I had to go back to work today. At least I got Sasha to finally calm down enough so that Mom could take him home.

And so, I hope that tomorrow is a little better. But maybe it won't be. It is too bad because tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when Sasha and I first met. I was hoping to do a little something nice but maybe not.

Today the interpreter asked me why did I go to another country and adopt a child from an alien culture. Today I could see how it must look like from the outside - an insane choice with no upside. Even though I know God called me to this child, today it really felt like that - an insane choice with no upside.

Ironically, what I experience with Sasha is not because he was a foreign adoption. Just today, someone told me how their daughter's American adopted child is in the same extreme end of reality. So it is not a locality based issue, it is a matter of offering to take care of children that have been put at risk. Sometimes those of us who wade in to help get there sooner rather than later. I wanted to be there for Sasha sooner and waited a year and a half. Later is not so good.

On Thursday we go to the behavior evaluation clinic which just happens to be in the same general area of the same children's hospital. Sasha is a lucky boy to be able to be seen by two speciality clinics in a very good children's hospital. Maybe the Thursday all day evaluations will yield something more than tests not done and the observation that "behavior issues really need to be addressed."

I do not like ending my day by crying. And this where I ended up tonight, crying, just a bit. Not because of any particular thing but just because it is so hard to simply endure the basically abusive behavior from Sasha. Good thing I have lots of stuff to do tomorrow (not Sasha related) or I think I would heed that call to give into the grief.