Back to the Boy Wonder - My Miracle

I thought the next blog I would be posting would be about the fact that his first round of braces came off yesterday and he was a champ. He is my hero, but the story of his awesomeness at the orthodonist's office took a second chair to his trauma of today.

Living with PTSD does get better. We also learn how to navigate life so as to minimize exposing the trauma person to triggers but life is life and sometimes PTSD heals enough that a person can function again in the face of violence even it seeks them out again. I had a great example of that today.

First, Alex had an awesome day at school. Finally the teachers listened to me about the fact that he had been transferred at the wrong grade level, allowed him to move down into the next room and he did amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Then, Alex got in the van to come home. We live less that ten minutes away but he
is transported to and from school because that is what my school district does for the kids in a B-room or better. I just happened to be home today dropping off Daria before I headed back to work and my Mom told me my son had just been dropped off sobbing. My kid was just short of hysterical. I asked what happened and the driver not only had yelled at him but he had punched him in the knee so hard he was limping. And sobbing. Alex had been punched so hard there was a red mark on his knee cap when the contract transport company told me to check for it. (They told me they thought Alex was lying even though they could hear him sobbing and telling me what was said in the background.)

Setting aside all the people who have heard from me and are going to hear from me; my first concern was for my son. In that other country he lived in before he came home there was a failed adoption wherein the abuse by the adoptive father was so horrific my brain still has a hard time thinking about all the things Alex had to say about it. My son also carries PTSD memories of abuse by older boys. Needless to say I was in a bit of a panic when my sobbing son told me what had happened.

Then amazing thing happened. He did not go into PTSD mode. Then, at some point I realized he has been coping with icky things for awhile. I am not saying he did not still cry and hurt, but he saw me wade in and start to take care of it. I called all the people and made the complaints and demands. I let him tell what he thought they needed to hear about it all. I held him on my lap and gave him comfort. We made a plan if that man showed up again. We made a second plan. And then he calmed down.

He told me to go back to work and then the gym and I did. He told me I needed to go the pool because it made me happy and that he would be okay. He told me he could call if things got bad for him. He got over it. I got home and things were fine. I have the sound monitors on high tonight but I do not think any of the PTSD will trigger.

Alex and I got to this point by hanging on together. We are the lucky ones - we found each other and were allowed to hang on and become a family together. Today Alex dealt with an issue that would have set him back months and months in the beginning. I think I am having a worse time than he is – who knew. It must be a mama thing.


So, I was orginally going to have this post be about Alex being a hero.
He got his latest round of braces off yesterday and given his special cleft situation, we took mold, after mold of his mouth. Towards the end he struck a beautiful yogi pose complete with the complicated leg folding and everything and endured.

My son – the Zen master of orthodontia. I wish I had taken a picture instead of simply being enchanted by the beauty and endurance of my son’s soul.

My son - the Zen master of surviving sucessfully. He is my hero.

Rumor is that, the braces I put on years ago to help him deal with his mouth issues, will come off next week. I hate them and cannot wait for them to be gone. My son has told me he will come and hold my hand because I will probably cry a lot. He is right. I may have taught him the pose and mentality but I totally hate people touching my teeth more than I love peaceful space.

I am blessed to have such a wonderful little boy.