An adoption entity asked me if I would speak to reporters. I said yes, and let them ask whatever they wanted. I allowed them free access to my home and any question they wanted to pose. I believe very strongly in adopting children from Russia. Daria was in a psychiatric ward complete with walls and guards and she is a perfectly normal little girl. The news report is at the link below.
There are also comments towards the bottom of the linked page about domestic vs. foreign adoption. I will offer a subsequent post about that issue.
http://www.kptv.com/story/20463247/families-devastated-by
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
I cannot believe the adoptions are halted
My heart is sad. People keep telling me we are the lucky ones; Alex and Daria are home. We are such a happy family and love one another so much. I have been lucky every day since they have come home. Both the children love each other so much - just like other siblings. They didn't just want a mom, they wanted a family and home and a life. They have that now.
I worry for the other children left behind. I listen to my children and they wanted to be in a family more than I wanted to give them one.
I was in the process of adopting from Russia again. My heart weeps for the children I was hoping to adopt. I worry for all the children needing to find their way home.
I worry for the other children left behind. I listen to my children and they wanted to be in a family more than I wanted to give them one.
I was in the process of adopting from Russia again. My heart weeps for the children I was hoping to adopt. I worry for all the children needing to find their way home.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Is the path from Grief through Forgiveness?
I do not know. Because my children still live I am not sure if my grief requires forgiveness. Or maybe it does. I think that part of my grief is from such a deep place of hurt - for the families, for the parents and for the lost children, I cannot see the way out. Maybe we all need to forgive to ease grief. I do not know. I look to the Amish example of how they dealt with the massacre of their children in a school a few years back. Two links below discuss what life looks like today because of the Amish approach of immediate forgiveness. I am not Amish but I come from a family background that places gentleness and forgiveness at the front of tragedy.
http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/opinion/perspectives/the-amish-forgave-the-man-who-killed-five-of-their-children-but-the-storys-not-over-317153/
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2011-09-29/amish-schoolhouse-shooting/50609184/1
I think I am too lost in grief to be mad at anyone. I guess I would have to point the grief toward someone or something before forgiveness would be an option. I do know that gentleness and peace is desperately needed in order for a soul to heal. Maybe forgiveness brings that. Something to think about.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
It is like I said ...
http://news.msn.com/us/after-newtown-parents-more-lenient
fyi - I already let me kids eat cake for breakfast sometimes. It won't hurt them and they still always brush their teeth afterwards. Family love.
fyi - I already let me kids eat cake for breakfast sometimes. It won't hurt them and they still always brush their teeth afterwards. Family love.
26 Acts of Kindness
A good way to start. Bring joy and kindness in the midst of grief. Help others. There are many ways to reaffirm the humanity in all of us.
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/18/15999109-if-you-do-good-youll-feel-good-ann-curry-explains-origins-of-26acts-of-kindness?lite
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/18/15999109-if-you-do-good-youll-feel-good-ann-curry-explains-origins-of-26acts-of-kindness?lite
My heart is still weeping
I cannot seem to stop crying for the babies slaughtered in Newtown. It could have been my baby girl, Alex's little sister, in those classrooms. Our Daria would have not run away. She would not have hid. I am haunted. And so deeply filled with grief for the parents of the little ones. I think none of those parents can ever know know how much I will weep for them. My children are my life. I cannot image me living without them.
Alex, the miracle boy, has been having nightmares about the shooting of little ones too. I tried to keep the kids away from the tv while the adults watch the news but Alex is too smart - he wants to know what makes me weep until I cannot weep anymore.
People in my agency started getting texts on their phones almost immediately as the news broke. By the time I went to my daughter's afternoon class holiday celebration - I knew many little children had died in that other, faraway, classroom. I left Alex home and went to my little girl's class to see the kids sing. And I could not stop hugging her.
Of course parents do what life seems to dictate; presents are wrapped, visits to Santa happen and holiday pictures are taken. What I see with all parents right now is a special care toward all our children. The line to take a picture with Santa was long this year but everyone was so terribly kind with their children. A special sense of being blessed with their continued existence seemed to be manifested in all the parent interactions with their kids. There were no short words. There was no impatience that line was hours long. I saw parents leave the line midway through after waiting a ton of time because their child was hungry. Kids played and ran and were happy. We knew that we are the lucky families today.
The war to keep Alex safe from bullying while getting him the federally mandated education required continues of course. The school district has taken a deeply troubling approach. Alex is in new headgear guaranteed to make him more vulnerable and more of a target than he already was - as if that was possible.
The District has told me a child being hit is normal and it will happen. They have also told me they will do nothing extra to keep him safe. I have told them, I will call the police if it happens to Alex again. I hate that they are making me be this way. I also know that we cannot let Alex be hit again. I cannot let it happen again. Alex keeps asking for a cell phone so he can call me or his grandmother for help. I think he might get it over my personal preferences.
Protecting Alex helps me not weep so much for the babies. If my kids were having a perfectly safe and normal life I do not know how I would channel my grief for those families.
May God watch over those families.
Alex, the miracle boy, has been having nightmares about the shooting of little ones too. I tried to keep the kids away from the tv while the adults watch the news but Alex is too smart - he wants to know what makes me weep until I cannot weep anymore.
People in my agency started getting texts on their phones almost immediately as the news broke. By the time I went to my daughter's afternoon class holiday celebration - I knew many little children had died in that other, faraway, classroom. I left Alex home and went to my little girl's class to see the kids sing. And I could not stop hugging her.
Of course parents do what life seems to dictate; presents are wrapped, visits to Santa happen and holiday pictures are taken. What I see with all parents right now is a special care toward all our children. The line to take a picture with Santa was long this year but everyone was so terribly kind with their children. A special sense of being blessed with their continued existence seemed to be manifested in all the parent interactions with their kids. There were no short words. There was no impatience that line was hours long. I saw parents leave the line midway through after waiting a ton of time because their child was hungry. Kids played and ran and were happy. We knew that we are the lucky families today.
The war to keep Alex safe from bullying while getting him the federally mandated education required continues of course. The school district has taken a deeply troubling approach. Alex is in new headgear guaranteed to make him more vulnerable and more of a target than he already was - as if that was possible.
The District has told me a child being hit is normal and it will happen. They have also told me they will do nothing extra to keep him safe. I have told them, I will call the police if it happens to Alex again. I hate that they are making me be this way. I also know that we cannot let Alex be hit again. I cannot let it happen again. Alex keeps asking for a cell phone so he can call me or his grandmother for help. I think he might get it over my personal preferences.
Protecting Alex helps me not weep so much for the babies. If my kids were having a perfectly safe and normal life I do not know how I would channel my grief for those families.
May God watch over those families.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
The boy wonder became my hero yet again today
So the mediation tanked. Not because of me but because the school district decided to breach the agreement before it was even signed. The rat finks. They so irritated the attorney that he quit and referred me onto someone else. That guy gets the system and the situation but is slow to get it together and meet, schedule the important stuff, etc.
What do normal people do?
In the meantime, a kid at the new school is starting to bug, trip and hit Alex. I watched this kid with a funky haircut and blue streak be somewhat generally mean even I was sitting in the room. He kept getting sent back to the "safe" class because he was hitting in the "main" classroom. At first nobody at the school "knew anything." Then when I was able to pinpoint incidents, and confirm a pattern of bullying, they went silent. And then they started to blame Alex again.
The principal refused to do anything saying kids hit kids and they try to redirect them. A senior attorney for the school district keeps redirecting all attempts to stop the bullying back to Alex being a special needs kid, like federal law will allow them to put Alex in harms way. It will not of course.
There was once again a sharp object in the equation. Nobody will discuss that either.
So Alex stays home while I try to get the school to help make it safe for Alex. They are so terribly slow to even meet about it. It makes me sad because it is another year of education they are ripping away from him.
Ironically, Alex was put in a fairly extreme head gear contraption earlier today. It is complete with jaw pulling rubber bands and a steel rod anchored to the front of his face to try and secure it all. He really needs to wears it 24 hours a day but the doctor accept at least a minimum of 14 hours a day. The head gear has various movable parts and I liken to having to balance a bowl full of jello and grapes on the front of your face.
Alex - the hero child. He initially took it off in public but put it back on in my office by the end of the day and is really okay with a 24 hour regimen. Tonight he even reattached it himself complete with the rubber bands. This kid is such an amazing inspiration.
People were so freaked out today when they saw it, they just kept giving him stuff, I think to make him feel better. Alex is okay with it all, but he worries that people will laugh and point at him.
Alex will stay home from school tomorrow too.
An attorney that wants me to pay him a pile of money tells me, for free, that the school system has to accommodate the no bully issue under an IEP (federal law) because it impairs his ability to learn. The law may say it, but I do not see it.
I just want my son to be able to go to school. I want him to be safe while he does it. The headgear even makes me stop and take notice.
If the school cannot make it safe for Alex, we will see behavior that we saw this summer. That is not acceptable - at any level. He was so out of control and doctors were pumping him full of heavy mental meds that should have felled a large grown man - and still he did not stop. If it happens again, I can see the entire children's hospital here in town marching on the school district. At the end of the summer, the doctors told me to do whatever was needed to get Alex to stop his severe and outrageous behavior. They will help stop it all.
Back to the most amazing child - my son. He will endure. He is turning and literally facing physical issues that would drop an adult to their knees. He is my hero. And he is having a happy life.
People always talk about the negatives children bring from their life before adoption but I do not. I have talked to too many other parents that struggle with significantly more difficult, long term behaviors - from birth children. I remember my siblings too. These families have no difficult history of abuse to point to when trying to deal with the behavior of the children. I also am haunted by what my former foster children were being labeled the last time I heard about them. Simple issues were being raised to severe behavior disorders - at two, three and four. I sometimes wonder if kids simply align their sense of self with these diagnoses and the treatment that results. I still have mama nightmares for these children that will never leave my heart - even the knife wielding, so not safe, 10-year-old boy who knew my neighborhood because his family had slept in the park a block away. May God keep them safe.
Rather I would note the positives like what Alex brought home from the before time. He always tells the truth, unless he is telling a joke. He also has a radical sense of justice, not just for himself, but for every other child he knows. Alex is always kind to younger children and is very protective of them. He loves to coo at babies.
He is the absolute picture perfect son. Watching him today, he became my most favorite hero again. What a guy. That is not to say that I expect anything other than 10-year-old boy behavior from him tomorrow. But Alex will be a happy child. He will be loved. And he will be safe.
What do normal people do?
In the meantime, a kid at the new school is starting to bug, trip and hit Alex. I watched this kid with a funky haircut and blue streak be somewhat generally mean even I was sitting in the room. He kept getting sent back to the "safe" class because he was hitting in the "main" classroom. At first nobody at the school "knew anything." Then when I was able to pinpoint incidents, and confirm a pattern of bullying, they went silent. And then they started to blame Alex again.
The principal refused to do anything saying kids hit kids and they try to redirect them. A senior attorney for the school district keeps redirecting all attempts to stop the bullying back to Alex being a special needs kid, like federal law will allow them to put Alex in harms way. It will not of course.
There was once again a sharp object in the equation. Nobody will discuss that either.
So Alex stays home while I try to get the school to help make it safe for Alex. They are so terribly slow to even meet about it. It makes me sad because it is another year of education they are ripping away from him.
Ironically, Alex was put in a fairly extreme head gear contraption earlier today. It is complete with jaw pulling rubber bands and a steel rod anchored to the front of his face to try and secure it all. He really needs to wears it 24 hours a day but the doctor accept at least a minimum of 14 hours a day. The head gear has various movable parts and I liken to having to balance a bowl full of jello and grapes on the front of your face.
Alex - the hero child. He initially took it off in public but put it back on in my office by the end of the day and is really okay with a 24 hour regimen. Tonight he even reattached it himself complete with the rubber bands. This kid is such an amazing inspiration.
People were so freaked out today when they saw it, they just kept giving him stuff, I think to make him feel better. Alex is okay with it all, but he worries that people will laugh and point at him.
Alex will stay home from school tomorrow too.
An attorney that wants me to pay him a pile of money tells me, for free, that the school system has to accommodate the no bully issue under an IEP (federal law) because it impairs his ability to learn. The law may say it, but I do not see it.
I just want my son to be able to go to school. I want him to be safe while he does it. The headgear even makes me stop and take notice.
If the school cannot make it safe for Alex, we will see behavior that we saw this summer. That is not acceptable - at any level. He was so out of control and doctors were pumping him full of heavy mental meds that should have felled a large grown man - and still he did not stop. If it happens again, I can see the entire children's hospital here in town marching on the school district. At the end of the summer, the doctors told me to do whatever was needed to get Alex to stop his severe and outrageous behavior. They will help stop it all.
Back to the most amazing child - my son. He will endure. He is turning and literally facing physical issues that would drop an adult to their knees. He is my hero. And he is having a happy life.
People always talk about the negatives children bring from their life before adoption but I do not. I have talked to too many other parents that struggle with significantly more difficult, long term behaviors - from birth children. I remember my siblings too. These families have no difficult history of abuse to point to when trying to deal with the behavior of the children. I also am haunted by what my former foster children were being labeled the last time I heard about them. Simple issues were being raised to severe behavior disorders - at two, three and four. I sometimes wonder if kids simply align their sense of self with these diagnoses and the treatment that results. I still have mama nightmares for these children that will never leave my heart - even the knife wielding, so not safe, 10-year-old boy who knew my neighborhood because his family had slept in the park a block away. May God keep them safe.
Rather I would note the positives like what Alex brought home from the before time. He always tells the truth, unless he is telling a joke. He also has a radical sense of justice, not just for himself, but for every other child he knows. Alex is always kind to younger children and is very protective of them. He loves to coo at babies.
He is the absolute picture perfect son. Watching him today, he became my most favorite hero again. What a guy. That is not to say that I expect anything other than 10-year-old boy behavior from him tomorrow. But Alex will be a happy child. He will be loved. And he will be safe.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
New Surgery - new milestone
Alex had another reconstructive surgery last week. For any parent that has had a child have to endure extensive, painful and invasive medical procedures, the fact that the child does not simply run down the hallways and streets screaming no more, no more is the inspiration that keeps us by their sides.
Alex had a hard surgery. So much scar tissue from the before time makes reconstruction slow going.
The surgery itself went great. Of course everything we discussed beforehand was not what the doctors did. Instead they rebuilt the back of Alex's palate and he sounds normal. He even snores. Alex is so freaked out by the change he is staying home until he gets used to the normal sounds of his voice. Alex is also so seriously offended by the pain post-surgery. It makes him so mad. When Alex is mad at the painful assault on his body he tells us and then endures. So sweetly he makes me weep.
My miracle boy.
All of us in his home life see such a wonderful boy. School remains a problem, but not because of Alex. The medical doctors now want to talk to the school. The mental health doctors want to talk to the school. Even Alex's speech therapist wants to talk to the school. Why you may ask?
It is because they are totally confused, and now less than pleased, as to why there is still a problem at school. Not me, but them. Our miracle boy is normal, but fragile. So, I have been retaining attorneys. I have been trying to understand the legal ramifications about how Alex is being failed by the public institution called school.
Because of the surgery, Alex is of course in the driver's seat about how he re-enters school. He decided the first day back and a kid rushed him coming into the room. He did not like it. Later this kid raced Alex back into the classroom and shoved him out of the way. Nobody at school thought anything about it even though he is in a fragile classroom.
They told me it was not bullying. I did not say it was. I told the teacher Alex, as a result of the extreme bullying before, simply cannot endure invasion of his personal space - especially in an aggressive manner.
The school re-entry attempt day pushed Alex to his limit. Not because it was post surgery but because the environment is simply wrong. Lacy, my friend and right hand, had Alex on the phone, with the teacher yelling in the background telling Alex he "had a good day!" Alex was also yelling - almost incomprehensive - and so terribly explosive. The teacher was using such a negative tone as she was telling Alex his day was good. Me on speaker phone and my right hand girl, got him out of the room while the teacher talking down to Alex. Once out of the classroom he calmed down long enough for the 5 minute car ride to the house where my mom took over.
I asked for a next day meeting and reminded them he is currently fragile because the school district allowed him to almost be bullied to death. No meeting was allowed. The teacher then took the day off.
Alex remains a fragile child trying to live. I am the Mom charged by God to make it so this sweet, gentle child can be allowed to live.
I go to mediation tomorrow with a mediator who seems to be a school district puppet. He tried to scare me about litigation and then attacked me personally. If I didn't have over 25 years experience in litigation that attack would have destroyed me. No joke. My support team and family gave me a lot of room to rebound from that attack. He is also a part-time judge so now I wonder how many other people he has unfairly commenced a frontal assault against which is only tangentially attached to law. I keep having attornies address and limit the damage being done.
God gave me a large issue to live through. The lawyers are expensive. And I worry about the water bill. And then I worry about the holidays. So much money is going to trying to stem the tide damage. I worry it the kids will get any holidays at all. Attorneys cost a lot of money.
None of it Alex's fault. He is doing what he needs to do. He is surviving painful and extensive reconstructive surgeries with the most amazing demeanor. And he is eating way too much ice cream and spending time with his doting grandmother who thinks the sun rises and sets with him. Alex does not know how hard every day is to keep him safe and secure.
Prayer is how I keep going. I ask that someone pray for us tomorrow I go to the mediation.
The rest of the family needs to be kept in your thoughts too. We are a family strongly built through adoption.
God has blessed us all.
Alex had a hard surgery. So much scar tissue from the before time makes reconstruction slow going.
The surgery itself went great. Of course everything we discussed beforehand was not what the doctors did. Instead they rebuilt the back of Alex's palate and he sounds normal. He even snores. Alex is so freaked out by the change he is staying home until he gets used to the normal sounds of his voice. Alex is also so seriously offended by the pain post-surgery. It makes him so mad. When Alex is mad at the painful assault on his body he tells us and then endures. So sweetly he makes me weep.
My miracle boy.
All of us in his home life see such a wonderful boy. School remains a problem, but not because of Alex. The medical doctors now want to talk to the school. The mental health doctors want to talk to the school. Even Alex's speech therapist wants to talk to the school. Why you may ask?
It is because they are totally confused, and now less than pleased, as to why there is still a problem at school. Not me, but them. Our miracle boy is normal, but fragile. So, I have been retaining attorneys. I have been trying to understand the legal ramifications about how Alex is being failed by the public institution called school.
Because of the surgery, Alex is of course in the driver's seat about how he re-enters school. He decided the first day back and a kid rushed him coming into the room. He did not like it. Later this kid raced Alex back into the classroom and shoved him out of the way. Nobody at school thought anything about it even though he is in a fragile classroom.
They told me it was not bullying. I did not say it was. I told the teacher Alex, as a result of the extreme bullying before, simply cannot endure invasion of his personal space - especially in an aggressive manner.
The school re-entry attempt day pushed Alex to his limit. Not because it was post surgery but because the environment is simply wrong. Lacy, my friend and right hand, had Alex on the phone, with the teacher yelling in the background telling Alex he "had a good day!" Alex was also yelling - almost incomprehensive - and so terribly explosive. The teacher was using such a negative tone as she was telling Alex his day was good. Me on speaker phone and my right hand girl, got him out of the room while the teacher talking down to Alex. Once out of the classroom he calmed down long enough for the 5 minute car ride to the house where my mom took over.
I asked for a next day meeting and reminded them he is currently fragile because the school district allowed him to almost be bullied to death. No meeting was allowed. The teacher then took the day off.
Alex remains a fragile child trying to live. I am the Mom charged by God to make it so this sweet, gentle child can be allowed to live.
I go to mediation tomorrow with a mediator who seems to be a school district puppet. He tried to scare me about litigation and then attacked me personally. If I didn't have over 25 years experience in litigation that attack would have destroyed me. No joke. My support team and family gave me a lot of room to rebound from that attack. He is also a part-time judge so now I wonder how many other people he has unfairly commenced a frontal assault against which is only tangentially attached to law. I keep having attornies address and limit the damage being done.
God gave me a large issue to live through. The lawyers are expensive. And I worry about the water bill. And then I worry about the holidays. So much money is going to trying to stem the tide damage. I worry it the kids will get any holidays at all. Attorneys cost a lot of money.
None of it Alex's fault. He is doing what he needs to do. He is surviving painful and extensive reconstructive surgeries with the most amazing demeanor. And he is eating way too much ice cream and spending time with his doting grandmother who thinks the sun rises and sets with him. Alex does not know how hard every day is to keep him safe and secure.
Prayer is how I keep going. I ask that someone pray for us tomorrow I go to the mediation.
The rest of the family needs to be kept in your thoughts too. We are a family strongly built through adoption.
God has blessed us all.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
A happy life
I went to a religious retreat this weekend. It had nothing to do with the kids or any issues from this summer. It was just for me. It is something to renew my soul and reaffirm my faith in God. It was for me to simply have joy in faith.
Some people who know me would be shocked to hear I am so deeply religious. I want to say, really?!?!? How do you think I kept climbing into that ambulance and how do you think I kept living in the hallways of ERs? How do you think I kept going on when the doctors gave me no hope? I have faith, in God. And loving that sweet child of course kept me by his side in the darkest hours.
He is a sweet child. When he is not being forced beyond his own ability to cope. I have learned things about what happened to him - at school. Things I wasn't supposed to ever know. Attorneys have been retained. It will be resolved. That being said, my child is back. He has returned to us in all his little boy glow. Or maybe that is just mud from playing too hard outside! The happy life is back.
Back to the retreat or conference. Saturday I got everyone up and tried to get ready to leave. My kids clung. I had not gotten home before they went to bed the night before because of the conference. They missed me. There is no better feeling for an adoptive mom than to hear, and feel, that her kids miss her. Needless to say, I was late.
The day reaffirmed my faith. Not that I needed it, but is nice to hear others talk about faith. Alex is my miracle that I found in Russia and God has reaffirmed the preciousness of this child. A child people once again saw as lost was again found.
I am not sure if Alex knows that he is such an amazing miracle. He is just a boy. He is a happy boy. He had a great time at home with my Mom while I listened to stuff to make my heart happy. I then went home and we all went to the park to play. A happy life.
Some people who know me would be shocked to hear I am so deeply religious. I want to say, really?!?!? How do you think I kept climbing into that ambulance and how do you think I kept living in the hallways of ERs? How do you think I kept going on when the doctors gave me no hope? I have faith, in God. And loving that sweet child of course kept me by his side in the darkest hours.
He is a sweet child. When he is not being forced beyond his own ability to cope. I have learned things about what happened to him - at school. Things I wasn't supposed to ever know. Attorneys have been retained. It will be resolved. That being said, my child is back. He has returned to us in all his little boy glow. Or maybe that is just mud from playing too hard outside! The happy life is back.
Back to the retreat or conference. Saturday I got everyone up and tried to get ready to leave. My kids clung. I had not gotten home before they went to bed the night before because of the conference. They missed me. There is no better feeling for an adoptive mom than to hear, and feel, that her kids miss her. Needless to say, I was late.
The day reaffirmed my faith. Not that I needed it, but is nice to hear others talk about faith. Alex is my miracle that I found in Russia and God has reaffirmed the preciousness of this child. A child people once again saw as lost was again found.
I am not sure if Alex knows that he is such an amazing miracle. He is just a boy. He is a happy boy. He had a great time at home with my Mom while I listened to stuff to make my heart happy. I then went home and we all went to the park to play. A happy life.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
I have a cat
His name is Luke. When I first got know him it was hard to determine gender so I initially named him Lucy. Luke lived under the house I bought so as to have plenty of room for lots of kids. Luke lived under that house with a family of racoons. I do not know how long he was there. I think it was a long time. Luke the cat had been declawed before being abandoned so as to live under the house - with racoons.
Needless to say Luke the Cat had issues.
When I first moved into the house for lots of kids I knew about the racoons within the first week and left my dogs with my Mom until the issue was resolved. Then I met Luke. He would come shyly to see me as I sat on the front steps of that house at night, dreaming my dreams. I dreamed and petted the very shy cat.
After awhile, he started to walk into the front door for brief moments. Whatever. I had racoons to evict and beloved dogs to make safe. I did what I needed to do and the dogs started coming to their home. Luke the Cat moved in too.
Luke had no claws so he struggled with being with the dogs. Fortunately the dogs had been trained by a former most beloved cat so they never did anything towards Luke despite all his hissing, spitting and general hysteria. Mostly the dogs just tried to curl up with the cat and comfort him.
Life was good.
The family has gotten other cats since then and they have other issues. Luke is still with us. He is still a relatively young cat. He has many years left to learn how to deal with having no claws.
I cannot imagine how this cat gets through his day. Claws are so necessary for a cat. But Luke does it -everyday.
What I notice now is that the cat with no claws no longer pees on things. What I notice is that he no longer shies from the dogs. What I notice is a calmer cat that acts out less. Luke does okay. He gets love and is safe.
I would never equate a child with a family pet but traumatized beings can point to what heals a heart.
I gave that cat time and love and he is working out his existence on the planet within the context of his trauma. It is all happening on his own timeline, not mine.
Can I do nothing less for my kids?
I have a cat. He helped me remember what it is to love a traumatized being.
I just wish my son had less to deal with than being surgically declawed.
Tomorrow is Monday - back to battle stations. It promises to be a long week. Please pray for my son and our family.
Needless to say Luke the Cat had issues.
When I first moved into the house for lots of kids I knew about the racoons within the first week and left my dogs with my Mom until the issue was resolved. Then I met Luke. He would come shyly to see me as I sat on the front steps of that house at night, dreaming my dreams. I dreamed and petted the very shy cat.
After awhile, he started to walk into the front door for brief moments. Whatever. I had racoons to evict and beloved dogs to make safe. I did what I needed to do and the dogs started coming to their home. Luke the Cat moved in too.
Luke had no claws so he struggled with being with the dogs. Fortunately the dogs had been trained by a former most beloved cat so they never did anything towards Luke despite all his hissing, spitting and general hysteria. Mostly the dogs just tried to curl up with the cat and comfort him.
Life was good.
The family has gotten other cats since then and they have other issues. Luke is still with us. He is still a relatively young cat. He has many years left to learn how to deal with having no claws.
I cannot imagine how this cat gets through his day. Claws are so necessary for a cat. But Luke does it -everyday.
What I notice now is that the cat with no claws no longer pees on things. What I notice is that he no longer shies from the dogs. What I notice is a calmer cat that acts out less. Luke does okay. He gets love and is safe.
I would never equate a child with a family pet but traumatized beings can point to what heals a heart.
I gave that cat time and love and he is working out his existence on the planet within the context of his trauma. It is all happening on his own timeline, not mine.
Can I do nothing less for my kids?
I have a cat. He helped me remember what it is to love a traumatized being.
I just wish my son had less to deal with than being surgically declawed.
Tomorrow is Monday - back to battle stations. It promises to be a long week. Please pray for my son and our family.
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