They really do. They wake up everyday hoping for it. I make sure their days start that way of course. My kids, adopted from radicially different orphanage settings across a vast country, still expect the same fairy tale ending every day.
They look for the loving family. They get it of course. They look for safety and comfort of course. They get it. They look for boundaries that prove they are loved. They get them of course.
Today was a difficult day for my miracle son. All day he struggled with oppositional and defiant behavior. All day he fought me making it a great day for the family. All day he fought me feeding him enough - at least what he thought was enough.
He lost any family engagement for oppositional or defiant behavior. We all simply refused to engage.
We had a great day as a family at one of our favoirate stores - IKEA. They have food and remodeling ideas. We were happy. Alex even ate so much that he could not eat any thing more. Like his own fairy tale ending.
Before Alex came home his life left him often hungery. The whats or whys do not actually matter. What matter is being fed enough - to him at least. But he still struggled. Sometimes he conquered the demons he woke up with today and sometimes he did not.
When we all got home, he went into timeout. To give the rest of us a break if nothing else.
He did a bathroom break and bolted out of the front door of our house. He was so emotional. Like he was in a life or death situation. He kept threatening to run away. He said he knew the way to the other place. Neighbors came out. Nieghbors helped watch for him.
Alex was in a state. After awhile I came out and talked to a neighbor about a new baby the family had in their home. Alex finally came over and cooed over the baby too.
He wants the fairy tale life. Family and babies included.
After that teen mom left with her Dad (my heart breaks for him and his wife) Alex ran back across the street and yelled at me. I could see, he wants to come home. But he also needs me to want him home. I asked him to come home, arms spread and he did.
He sat on my lap and cuddled for all to see. He wants all to see that he has the fairy tale Mom.
I am not of course but I love my kids and do what they need. But maybe I am the fairy tale Mom. I am there, in the way they need, when they need it.
It is a simple solution. Be there when they need you to be. Today Alex needed to be a world class difficult child, have family still continue, be fed and then have public validation by all who surround his home.
I remember specifically remember town kids hurling stuff and vile insults at the windows of his orphanage rooms as I left so I get him needing such a public, in situ, validation of his family being okay.
So my boy wonder simply validated his own miracle today. Fairy tales do come true - for little boys and for Mamas too. We are the lucky ones. May God continue to bless this home.
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