Everything That is Given Is Not What I Planned

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

So Maybe School Could Have Gone Better Today

Sasha had a hard day today and was sent home early. Apparently he hit a classmate who was waiving their arms in a windmill fashion. Thank goodness they did not suspend him again for what may have been a purely "percieved" defensive action. For those of you who adopt these babies please, please, please get them into therapy. At least when they run screaming from the other children (or hit them) the school has specialists to talk to about how the kids are readjusting to our safe and happy sense of reality.

And if you are lucky enough to have your kids trust "you enough" (like that is not a loaded term :) ) then you will need resources to help when they tell you of the terrors inside them.

He is acquiring all the somewhat icky American childrn traits in addtion to lying, stealing, running away, spilling whatever he is drinking all over the dining room table (sometimes 3 times in 1 sitting) and playing the victim of the moment at the drop of a hat. Also his behavoir totally seems like testing to me. I suspect the principal of his school would like him gone but she cannot do that. So then I often get the call that "Sasha needs to come home" for the day. So today was one of those days.

3 comments:

Carey and Norman said...

So sorry to hear that Sasha is acting out and also having trouble understanding the actions of others. I'm sure this is a very confusing time for him, because he has been abused and doesn't know when to expect it again. He wants to trust, but he will always be fearful of someone hurting him. I do hope you are able to find some peace and help through your blog. The only other person I can think to recommend you to is Christina at smilesandtrials.blogspot.com. She has worked with many families who've experienced trouble. She is not a therapist, but an adoptive mother who has adopted many children from Eastern European countries. I think she has helped some through FRUA as well. I think her e-mail is on her blog, so I would definitely send her an e-mail to see if she has any advice or help (or possibly a reference of families or therapists you could talk to during this time). There are several family links over the last 4 to 6 months of families who've experienced trouble once home with their children on her blog.

My heart is with you, my friend. Please call me anytime you need anything!!

Much love and lots of hugs.

Merry Russian Christmas.

Jody said...

Good Morning!
De-lurking!!! I came across your blog through Carey & Norman's. We met them on our first trip to Russia in Feb. 2008. Anyway, I have been following your blog for quite a while now, and my heart goes out to you. We adopted two children, ages 3 & 2, and got them home in July. Our three year old has had a few attachment issues, and we have been in contact with Nancy Thomas....an attachment specialist in Colorado for about five weeks now. I would highly recommend her. She has had much experience in dealing with adopted children and their "issues"..for lack of a better word.
E-mail me if you want any information on her...I'd be glad to share anything I can.
jjgarber03@yahoo.com
Hope today goes a little better!
Jody Garber

Debbie said...

I have been following your story for a while. I adopted my son from Russia in 2005 at the age of 10 years. Sasha sounds so very similar to all the things and reactions my son had when he first came home. I was scared to death being that I am a single parent. We got into therapy right away and it was a tremendous help. Today, my son is not the same boy he was in 2005. We have come a very long way from that. Please e-mail if I can be of any support.
wrigivy@yahoo.com
Debbie