Alex came home the other night

It was a long day.  There were lots of calls to people about what to do next.  Nobody returned the calls.

Alex's sister Daria, was in day surgery the day I went to get Alex and it took twice as long as anyone expected.  Daria is one of those kids where the surgery will always be a very rough experience.  She is really struggling with it all.  I am struggling with it all.  The poor sweetie. Even I, the seasoned cleft Mama worries.  She is our fragile angel of blown glass that we all much protect and cosset.  Alex has spent hours sitting at her side, watching over her.  He went with me to grocery store to make sure I got all the right stuff for her to eat - if she will. 

The other night, after settling her at home I went to go get Alex from the pysch hospital.  He yelled at me and tried to hit.  Finally, four of the staff members carried him out of the unit and into the ground floor waiting room, kicking and and screaming.  No one had given him a chance to know what was happening. 

So I sat down and told him we would do whatever he needed.  I told him about how much Daria needed him to be home and help her since he was the "seasoned" cleft surgery kid.  After a few minutes I had him sitting on my lap and I told him how much I loved him.  He told me how much he missed me and wanted to go home.  After awhile I called cab and we went home.  Quietly.  Peacefully.  Calmly. 

People from a privately funded organization came to the house to try and help with a community plan for when Alex runs.  It sounds like mostly they will develop a script to give to the police and doctors when Alex does his run thing.  My insurance does not cover it but the children's hospital Alex has been to many times accessed some emergency funds to provide this service to us.  I am sure they did it not for Alex but to avoid the legal liability they have incurred concerning their care of Alex.  If it works, it would be nice.  I will still pursue all avenues to strip the hospital of the ability to do what they did to us.  Another family would probably not survive what was done to us.  Families in crisis do not need the additional burdens of attacks while seeking help.  I continue to thank G-d for all my friends and family that help out while we wait for Alex to get back to center.

Frankly, I think our non-triggering Alex is back.  Did Alex find confirmation of love and commitment from me and the family he was seeking?  I certainly hope so, for his sake.  I know that at every moment he is acting out he looks to me to see if I will be that that other Mom from his failed adoption in Russia.  Will I turn away?  Will I leave him?  Did I, or the family have a limit we will set on his behavior before turning away.  Not likely.  Alex has deep emotional scars from the before time that the bullying last year brought back into his daily life. 

Families stand firm with one another.  We all love one another so much.  I stand ready and then we all get on with normal life.  Mostly the family issue has moved on to our concern about Daria, post-surgery.  I worry for my baby girl tonight.  Alex sleeps in his room, surrounded by all his stuff.  It is normal life - for us.

Sometimes people ask me - would you adopt again, knowing what you know.  Yeah, I would do it again. My son was thrown away and lost. He has been found. Here, close to my heart he will remain. My son does okay. We all do okay.