Surgery went well!

It is amazing what they can do. Sasha now has a lip and there is that magic space between the nose and his new lip. It is a beautiful thing. And Sasha has been amazing through it all. No complaints. At first I thought he was quiet because of the meds but I think he finally understands that I love him and I am here to help. He is still swollen and there are stitches everywhere but, oh my goodness it is a beautiful sight to see.

And Sasha is a changed child. I keep joking that the doctors gave him a personality change during surgery but it really feels like they did. At first I kept looking at him to see if it really was my kid. Gone is the constant challenges and defiance. Gone are the outbursts and the constant negativity. Things had gotten so much better than last year that I thought we were in a calm space. Since surgery all the negativity is gone, simply gone, like it never existed.

In his place is a gentle child who likes a good joke and laughs a lot. In his transformation I see a message for all adoptive parents of these sometimes difficult to parent children and I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.

We go to our first surgery tomorrow, please pray for us

There is so much work to be done, it seems overwhelming sometimes. Certainly the docs think so as is apparent when they tell he that his situation is "complex."

Tomorrow we begin that journey. My mama heart already cries. I cannot sleep.
But my son sleeps. He sleeps because he knows he will come home after being in surgery. He does not care about the things other kids would care about - like surgery, pain and blah, blah, blah. My son is only concerned about coming home after it all. He did not before. And there must be balloons. Lots and lots of balloons.

So he sleeps tonight. I ramble about the house fussing. It is all so out of my hands. My job is to now get him into surgery. That I will do.

I was whining at my Mom earlier today and she reminded me that this actually was the part that I signed up for when I adopted. My response was "yeah, yeah but who knew it would hurt my heart so much!!!!!"

But this is what this family does - I adopt cleft children. So tonight I weep as I pack and plan to cuddle him close several more times before surgery. Those cuddles are of course couched into our everyday life because corrective surgery is kind of what we do - everyday whether it being preparing for surgery or doing our speech and op exercises. It is what makes my son whole.