Yeah - It is good to adopt! :)

As I read the comments everyone posted, I cried. There is so much love in adoption. Some of it spins out just a bit but it is all good. I am sorry I have not posted in a few days - work continues to bite the big one and I had complications from dental surgery. I will not discuss work other than to refer people back to an earlier post when I noted they refused leave (a federal agency no less) for me to go pick him up in Russia. Idiots. They later reversed themselves over a weekend via work email and then later "told" me they never did the deed. As my son would say - "stupid." I will also not talk about the dental incident other than to say, "if anything can go wrong in my mouth it will." And it did.


It is good to adopt. And it is good to focus on your child during the adoption. I was so focused on Sasha coming home and it sustained me. Now that he has been home a few months, the pictures I treasured as my heart yearned to be a Mom are relegated to the dark corners of a drawer per the kid. It is because Sasha wants pics of his life here.


My son does so well. If you had asked me in the "before time" I would had said I was not the best Mom for an active little boy. Yet, now that he is here I find my sense of self. I cannot imagine myself other than his Mom. And Sasha cannot imagine a life other than me being Mom. I thank God everyday my Mom was such a good role model and is there daily for constant "huddles." I could not do it otherwise.

Tonight he asked in Russian (and this is not a good translation) who I was as I existed - much like what would be the word to describe me if I was an object like a building or a mountain. I told him I am Sasha's Mom - Sarah. That is a description that he is starting to find comfort in.

One of the things my adoption agency failed to inform me about is the fact that Sasha has already suffered a failed family placement in Russia. What is coming out is that particulars concerning a Mama "there" have followed him home to America. That complicates all his issues for sure. And it complicates how he interacts with me. And a certain cadre of familial particulars. But we are getting the job done. And we simply let him talk. And hug. And talk some more. And talk some more.

I would not trade it for anything. I love giving him all that he needs. I love having the bandages, both physical and mental, ready to apply. I love the daily, hourly discussions about when SpongeBob might "be back." Sasha now has his bedroom decorated in "SpongeBob." It makes him happy. Me maybe not so much. The Bob is just so yellow, square and just so - so - so so. I just don't know. :)

I love arguing with him about the vitamin supplements that he takes after the meds. Apparently the calcium supplement sucks taste-wise and everyday is a battle wherein we try to think of new ways to ingest that silly gummy. I love watching him grow physically, emotionally and mentally. While the Momma in me wants to clutch the moments of a young child who might still need a rock or a cuddle, I see everyday how he is pushing into his future with a fearlessness that is awe inspiring. Watch out world, my son Alex is coming - and he is so amazing.

And I SOOOOOOO love being a Mama. :) Take care, Mama Sarah