Do You Know Why You Adopt(ed)?

I thought I did. My father had adopted before I was born and knew all my days how loved those children were. I was the unexpected child of a late remarriage so the family was pretty much set before me. Yet I was loved along with everyone else. There were a few years there where I wasn't sure of who of the children were family or children of my parents' best friends. Hence my early years were full of kids and love- and they were everywhere, in the best sense. I wish every kid had that kind of a start given it gave me an unshakable sense of love, security and community.

I had the best Dad anyone could ever hope for - he was so wonderful. Such an inspiration. And then I have an older brother who adopted and I knew how wonderful that family was - so complete and full of love. And then my life led to Sasha coming home through adoption. He is the child of my heart and there is nothing I would not do for him. He giggles now. There is no better sound in the world.

I suspect how parents handle the problems of their children depends on why they adopted. I wanted to make a difference in the life of a child. I wanted to be a parent like my Dad. Don't get me wrong, everyday it is my Mom who helps me get through the day right now with Sasha and she is doing a totally amazing job. I could not go on without her. Yet my Dad, whom I lost young, was an amazing inspiration too. As an adoptive parent on the other side I now understand all the special things it takes to make it work for both the children and the adoptive parent. Some days I still wish he was here. I wish he was here if only to tell him that I understand how a parent can love so much.

Now I know. I wanted to hold a small hand while walking down the street, talking about silly things. That is one of the best things about being a mom - talking about the silly things. I wanted to give a child what my parents gave me - love. And I now get to do that - everyday. Those are the best memories of my childhood - a beloved parent sitting there with me as I ate a cookie or chattered. I thank God I can give that sense of love and peace to a child now. I also thank my parents for teaching how to nuture such that even the broken heart of a child can seek solace and comfort. And heal. Thank God for that.
Oh yeah, Sasha remains a handful. He lost another baby tooth and is asking for higher payout from the princess tooth fairy. Sasha has also refined his "run away" techniques such that there was an Amber Alert called a few weeks ago and his clutching of a really big pink stuffed pig while he ran through downtown and gave his Mama serious stress - I now live in running shoes. :) Even this week, he decided the head doc's office was not where he wanted to be so his beahvoir totally spiked - on a wow factor chart of 0-10 he was a 50.
Yet, I would not trade it for anything. He is my son. And everyday he makes such amazing progress. I live in awe of this child as he struggles and overcomes. And everday, in my heart, I thank my father for being such an amazing role model of how to be a parent. I adopted because I wanted to give back the love my parents gave to me. I wanted to cause joy in the life of a child. Do you know why you adopt(ed)?