Yeah - It is good to adopt! :)

As I read the comments everyone posted, I cried. There is so much love in adoption. Some of it spins out just a bit but it is all good. I am sorry I have not posted in a few days - work continues to bite the big one and I had complications from dental surgery. I will not discuss work other than to refer people back to an earlier post when I noted they refused leave (a federal agency no less) for me to go pick him up in Russia. Idiots. They later reversed themselves over a weekend via work email and then later "told" me they never did the deed. As my son would say - "stupid." I will also not talk about the dental incident other than to say, "if anything can go wrong in my mouth it will." And it did.


It is good to adopt. And it is good to focus on your child during the adoption. I was so focused on Sasha coming home and it sustained me. Now that he has been home a few months, the pictures I treasured as my heart yearned to be a Mom are relegated to the dark corners of a drawer per the kid. It is because Sasha wants pics of his life here.


My son does so well. If you had asked me in the "before time" I would had said I was not the best Mom for an active little boy. Yet, now that he is here I find my sense of self. I cannot imagine myself other than his Mom. And Sasha cannot imagine a life other than me being Mom. I thank God everyday my Mom was such a good role model and is there daily for constant "huddles." I could not do it otherwise.

Tonight he asked in Russian (and this is not a good translation) who I was as I existed - much like what would be the word to describe me if I was an object like a building or a mountain. I told him I am Sasha's Mom - Sarah. That is a description that he is starting to find comfort in.

One of the things my adoption agency failed to inform me about is the fact that Sasha has already suffered a failed family placement in Russia. What is coming out is that particulars concerning a Mama "there" have followed him home to America. That complicates all his issues for sure. And it complicates how he interacts with me. And a certain cadre of familial particulars. But we are getting the job done. And we simply let him talk. And hug. And talk some more. And talk some more.

I would not trade it for anything. I love giving him all that he needs. I love having the bandages, both physical and mental, ready to apply. I love the daily, hourly discussions about when SpongeBob might "be back." Sasha now has his bedroom decorated in "SpongeBob." It makes him happy. Me maybe not so much. The Bob is just so yellow, square and just so - so - so so. I just don't know. :)

I love arguing with him about the vitamin supplements that he takes after the meds. Apparently the calcium supplement sucks taste-wise and everyday is a battle wherein we try to think of new ways to ingest that silly gummy. I love watching him grow physically, emotionally and mentally. While the Momma in me wants to clutch the moments of a young child who might still need a rock or a cuddle, I see everyday how he is pushing into his future with a fearlessness that is awe inspiring. Watch out world, my son Alex is coming - and he is so amazing.

And I SOOOOOOO love being a Mama. :) Take care, Mama Sarah

Do You Know Why You Adopt(ed)?

I thought I did. My father had adopted before I was born and knew all my days how loved those children were. I was the unexpected child of a late remarriage so the family was pretty much set before me. Yet I was loved along with everyone else. There were a few years there where I wasn't sure of who of the children were family or children of my parents' best friends. Hence my early years were full of kids and love- and they were everywhere, in the best sense. I wish every kid had that kind of a start given it gave me an unshakable sense of love, security and community.

I had the best Dad anyone could ever hope for - he was so wonderful. Such an inspiration. And then I have an older brother who adopted and I knew how wonderful that family was - so complete and full of love. And then my life led to Sasha coming home through adoption. He is the child of my heart and there is nothing I would not do for him. He giggles now. There is no better sound in the world.

I suspect how parents handle the problems of their children depends on why they adopted. I wanted to make a difference in the life of a child. I wanted to be a parent like my Dad. Don't get me wrong, everyday it is my Mom who helps me get through the day right now with Sasha and she is doing a totally amazing job. I could not go on without her. Yet my Dad, whom I lost young, was an amazing inspiration too. As an adoptive parent on the other side I now understand all the special things it takes to make it work for both the children and the adoptive parent. Some days I still wish he was here. I wish he was here if only to tell him that I understand how a parent can love so much.

Now I know. I wanted to hold a small hand while walking down the street, talking about silly things. That is one of the best things about being a mom - talking about the silly things. I wanted to give a child what my parents gave me - love. And I now get to do that - everyday. Those are the best memories of my childhood - a beloved parent sitting there with me as I ate a cookie or chattered. I thank God I can give that sense of love and peace to a child now. I also thank my parents for teaching how to nuture such that even the broken heart of a child can seek solace and comfort. And heal. Thank God for that.
Oh yeah, Sasha remains a handful. He lost another baby tooth and is asking for higher payout from the princess tooth fairy. Sasha has also refined his "run away" techniques such that there was an Amber Alert called a few weeks ago and his clutching of a really big pink stuffed pig while he ran through downtown and gave his Mama serious stress - I now live in running shoes. :) Even this week, he decided the head doc's office was not where he wanted to be so his beahvoir totally spiked - on a wow factor chart of 0-10 he was a 50.
Yet, I would not trade it for anything. He is my son. And everyday he makes such amazing progress. I live in awe of this child as he struggles and overcomes. And everday, in my heart, I thank my father for being such an amazing role model of how to be a parent. I adopted because I wanted to give back the love my parents gave to me. I wanted to cause joy in the life of a child. Do you know why you adopt(ed)?